Well every book starts with a word, every song with a note and every blog with a post... with that said here is my start. I'm not strictly sure what the purpose of this blog will be. It may turn into a private journal for my own reading and reflection, I may eventually share the link to this with others, and someone may randomly happen across this and be intrigued by what I have to say. I'm not opposed to any of these occurring, at least not yet. If you are reading this and you don't know me especially well I'll let you in on some information about me, I frequently correct the grammar of my friends but I often make the same mistakes. I sometimes forget to use caps when writing, especially with the word "I." As I don't have a specific purpose for this blog I expect it will be mostly just my thoughts and ideas laid out to reflect upon later. With that said, I expect this blog to be incredibly text-heavy. Some blogs I've seen, especially on tumblr seem to be made up mostly of pictures, .gif files and other whimsical images... While I find them entertaining, I do not expect this to be the venue I chose to put these things.
To address the present, it is 2:54pm on Friday, January 21st, 2011. Two days ago I got my watch back from the jewelery store, which has me excited, in about an hour I will be preparing for my first hot yoga session and later tonight I will work at the Willows Lodge, doing the night audit. I am writing all of this in hopes of creating a reference point, should I look back I am confident that These details that are occupying my mind will be forgotten as they are trivial at best, made especially so by the passing of time and the compilation of events that I hope my life will contain. Pandora is currently playing songs from a Something Corporate station, and I can't seem to get Aryn off of my mind. That last statement isn't strictly true, I am at a point where I'm not quite sure what to do about her.
With respects to romance and whatnot, my life has remained very simple and straightforward for the last few years. With some small exceptions, romance has not been a major part of my life... at least outside of my head it has not. Searching for a mate, debating whether or not I will eventually find one and other thoughts along this line have of course plagued my thoughts and mind for years upon years, but I feel I've done a fairly solid job of not letting these insecurities and concerns affect my life on a major scale. While I lived in CO I had a short fling with Sarah McNew. A very nice girl but looking back I knew going in that this was not love, I am happy I did not tell her I loved her. But we had fun together for a short time. She being the one exception, I have not had a girlfriend (and even then it is questionable whether or not she is to be counted as a gf) since Ashley Ayers, a woman I worked with at Trader Joe's... this would have been I believe somewhere around 2005, something that I think ended somewhere around march of 06. Which means I'm going on just shy of 5 years of being single... So I feel I'm justified in not knowing how I feel about the idea of becoming involved in a committed relationship. It's new ground for me. I've been in a relationship before, but that was high school time, this is different and should be treated differently. Aryn is very flirty and flighty, and I love that about her, but I wonder how I would view that if I were dating her. I do get jealous, but I believe I do a great job of not letting it show, sometimes to the point of seeing apathetic when I shouldn't be. Maybe the only people who aren't jealous are the ones who don't care in the first place. Everyone else is jealous, some just do a better job of hiding it than others. I wonder how I'd do with her personality. I'm used to not having to worry about what a potential gf would think of my behavior, I'm used to being able to flirt with anyone I want. I'm comfortable doing whatever I want with my time rather than checking to see what my significant other is up to. With that said, I would like to check with Aryn to see what she is up to. Not because I worry about her or what she's doing, but rather because I like spending time with her. She's one of the people I enjoy being around even when we're not doing anything related to the other person. I am confident that if she was in a room reading a book while I was in the same room blogging I would enjoy it more just because she was nearby. I'm not sure how many other friends I can say that about. I think there are a few, she is not the only one, but it is a short list.
Just finished another glass of water, I think i'll be plenty hydrated for hot yoga, in fact i'm starting to worry that i'll have to piss every 12 seconds once the session starts. Fingers crossed that I can make it through this and that i enjoy it and that it turns out to be healthy. I'd love to get into better shape, not just for me, but also because I like the idea of aryn being attracted to me. =)
That'll be the end of this first post. Nothing has really changed, but it is nice to know my thoughts are available to those that know where to look. So many thoughts and ideas enter our minds that are discarded or forgotten, there is some reassurance in knowing that these will remain... for a time at least.
-DP
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