What If...

If I were to write an album, a music album what would I want it to be about? What songs would be included, what would the name of the album be, the cover art, the song titles and themes of the songs... what sound would it have?

I would want a song to be something of an homage to Seattle, and perhaps Colorado. I would want this song to be fun, upbeat and light. Simply and catchy with lyrics that play with each other and have duel meanings.

I would want to have a song about my experiences in college and in CO. Perhaps a party anthem, something with a simple sound and catchy hook. Lyrics that compliment the music without bringing actual focus to either and a chorus that is mostly repetitive.

I would want to have a song about who I want to be. Everything that I am not but would like to be. Perhaps discussing people I admire as well as general traits that should be in the person that I want to turn into.

I would want a song to discuss my opinions. Where I see America, the world and the interactions between. What I think of pop culture and what I feel needs to be done to fix it.

Thus far this blog has been shallow. No. Not "shallow." This posting has been different. It has reflected me in a different way than my previous posts have. This is not to say that one is better than the other, but rather that both are accurate and insightful in their own ways. I am grateful to have a place to write my thoughts, however silly they may seem and however long my rambles may go, I have place to put it all down. Not even necessarily to read later but rather just as a place to let things out from my head. I used to think that the only reason to write was to have your writings read. Either you would write for others or for yourself, but even when writing for yourself it was so you could later read it. I have had a number of other blog-like accounts. Places where I have gone to write my thoughts. Usually these have been public and have been made available to anyone to read. This of course limits what I write. Knowing that the person you are writing about may read what you've written affects what you write and how you write. This blog is not for others to read. This blog is not even for me to read. Not to say I am forbidden from it. I know myself well enough to know that I have little desire to re-read it. Rarely if ever have I looked back on my old writings with pride. Usually I feel ashamed at how silly I was. How obsessed I was with different things. I critique my thoughts and actions. So with this blog I write not for my future-self but for my present self. For the me that is here right now with things on his mind. I write to release them from my head. To open up my noodle and release the pressure of concerns and thoughts that build up. In the hopes that This site will sift out my thoughts. Those worth keeping will bounce back to me cleaner and more well laid out than before. The thoughts that were useless and trite will fall on this screen. Will become ones and zeros that are transmitted across wires onto a server's hard-drive where they will be written and then forgotten about. Compressed and stored to most likely never be accessed again. A minimal waste and one I greatly prefer to those same thoughts festering on my brain.

I am not a student.

I don't know what I want to be, but I have not found anything that I enjoy enough to force myself to endure being a student.